Wish your pain away with the PainGenie

Back pain? Sports injury? Whiplash? Fracture? Arthritis?

No more need for any clinically proven medication – just use the Pain Genie!

And if you don’t trust me then trust that the Daily Mail thinks Pain Genie is the No1 Pain Buster!!

The PainGenie is some sort of electronic device that claims to use some sophisticated Russian technology called ‘Scenar Technology’ – developed during the cold war so you know it’s robust.  The company website claims PainGenie is the most technically advanced pain relief device in existence’, hard not to believe when you find out it was ‘developed by an elite team of doctors and scientists to keep cosmonauts in optimum health’!

The claims on the home page are scary enough

‘highly effective in all forms of pain relief including neck and back pain, sports injuries, whiplash, fractures. arthritis, RSI, IBS, burns and aching joints’

‘gentle electrical impulses, similar to those produced by the nervous system, are sent to  the brain stimulating the instant release of powerful natural healing compounds’

‘most people are able to achieve a dramatic reduction in pain, often within seconds’.

Their website is full of links and text which apparently try to prove the effectiveness of PainGenie through the tried and tested tactic of confusion.  There’s never any real explanation for anything just hints that some incredible ‘Scenar Technology’ powers the PainGenie.  They avoid any need for explanations by insulting the intelligence of their readers and stating that ‘technically it’s a very complicated device’.

In an attempt to show that the PainGenie is a serious medical device they offer a page full of clinical trials.  Here’s a breakdown of my favourite document reviewing their rigorously tested evidence base:

PainGenie clinical results review – a summary of Clinical Reports of Systemic Interactive Medicine Practitioners with different levels of experience each with an average of between 150 and 400 patients in each group is presented.  That’s it no more methods, no experimental design and no data.  This is followed by a list of diseases with a percentage of average effectiveness of PainGenie in each case.

Apparently, PainGenie is 82% effective for diseases of the circulatory system, including….Cardiac arrest!  Heart attack? no worries, I’ve got my PainGenie handy.

It is also  claimed to be 84% effective against diseases of the respiratory system including….Chronic respiratory failure!  I can see the doctors now, pulling the PainGenie out in the ER.

Impetigo? No problem.  PainGenie.  Cerebral Palsy?  PainGenie. Alcoholic liver disease, renal disease, fetal asphyxia, drug poisioning, hepatitis, dementia.  PainGenie.

The claims are just ridiculous.

But it’s ok because Mike Reid, a radio DJ and TV produce, is an advocate.  He says: “I could not believe it – don’t ask me how it works, I don’t need to know but I would use it every time!”

 SOLD!

I noticed that a complaint has already been filed to the ASA over claims on the PainGenie website, which was upheld after the claims were found to be unsubstantiated.  The ASA told PainGenie to ‘ensure it held robust evidence before making any efficacy claims.’  This ruling was made in May 2013 and yet they still haven’t removed the content from their website.

Maybe the PainGenie can cure the headache reading their website has caused.

 

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